Saturday, August 21, 2010

The More Things Change...

I realized this week that I have moved four times in 13 weeks.
I moved from Alabama to Florida.
From Florida to Missouri.
From Missouri back to Florida.
And from Florida back to Alabama.
You would think by now I would have this packing thing down but I don’t. I still have to sit on my luggage to be able to zip it.
But the important thing is—it zips.

Aside from my constant state of unpacking and repacking—I’ve had an amazing summer. I never dreamed I would have the chance to move to “the big city” (as Ma calls it) and work for such an awesome company. I never dreamed I’d meet so many AMAZING people in the short time I lived in the Midwest. This summer was full of new experiences and taught me a lot about myself.
Two questions have kept popping up recently, and I’d like to address both of them here:
Question 1 from Missouri: Do you miss home?
Yes. While I was in STL, especially those first six weeks I missed home terribly. I had just moved 800 miles from the nearest person I knew and I was homesick. Generally when I’m not happy I play the piano or walk around the farm. Since I had no piano or farm—I spent a lot of time walking at the conservation park in Chesterfield…until the grass got so tall I wasn’t sure if big foot was creeping around the walking path or if it was just a mammoth rabbit.
But the short answer was yes—I was incredibly homesick.

Question 2 from Florida/Alabama: Do you miss Missouri?
Yes, I miss Missouri. (To answer your next question: No—I don’t plan to move back.)
This summer was an amazing experience—and after I realized that I wasn’t going to die from the homesickness I experienced those first few weeks, I really began to enjoy myself. Heck—I kinda hated to leave. I made some AMAZING friends (from all over the place—not just STL) and made some great memories.
No one likes change, me especially, but the changes I underwent this summer have shaped who I am and have pushed me toward the person I want to be. They are helping me achieve my dreams. They reassure me. They grow me. And in the change memories are formed—invisible attachments to my heart. So it was with both joy and sadness that I left home—both homes—to tackle the new changes coming my way. I miss both the Midwest and the South.
I’m not sure of the author but I believe this quote says it best: “All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another.”
Life is about change—and my melancholy/homesickness this summer reflects that. But change is a must—without it we don’t grow.
And if we aren’t growing are we really living?

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